


Realignment

by velocitygrass



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 04:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1968591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velocitygrass/pseuds/velocitygrass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jennifer overhears a conversation between John and Rodney, and things that have long remained left unsaid are finally addressed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Realignment

**Author's Note:**

> McSheplets #128: repair

**Jennifer**

 

Ah, there he was. Jennifer was glad that she'd finally found Rodney. She'd been afraid she'd have to contact the control room to guide her, and she'd wanted to surprise Rodney with the lunch since he had surely forgotten about it, deep in repairs that he was.

Jennifer stopped for a moment to admire him. He was wearing just a tight shirt and his uniform pants. It was hot in this area of Atlantis. Rodney was a bit sweaty, standing on a little ladder and stretching to work on something on the wall. It presented his ass beautifully.

She smiled to herself and stepped in, only to see John Sheppard at Rodney's feet with a little picnic, looking up at Rodney with an expression that immediately made her step back again so that they wouldn't see her.

Adoration, desire, love.

It wasn't even that she was entirely surprised. She'd seen the first and the last before. She'd suspected the second, though she'd never seen it on display as just now.

She wished she could feel sorry for him. Not because she wanted Sheppard to be unhappy. But because it would mean that she didn't see him as a threat.

They'd always had something of a rivalry going on for Rodney. Well, ever since Jennifer had shown a romantic interest in him. Rodney had never given her a reason to believe he was interested in John sexually, but she couldn't forget how when Rodney had literally lost his mind, he'd been shouting for John not for her. And she wasn't sure that Rodney's feelings for his friend were entirely platonic. She'd seen the vitriolic glances at women who came too close to Sheppard.

It had actually been a shock to witness that, even more so because evidently neither John, nor Teyla or Ronon saw anything out of the ordinary in Rodney's blatant display of jealousy.

And Rodney had mentioned messing around with guys in university and in Siberia. She had absolutely no problem with that but it just made the threat of Sheppard's feelings more acute.

"Come on, Rodney. You've been at it for hours. And it'll be a few hours more, so better refuel your brain now than make it worse," she heard Sheppard say now.

"As if I could," Rodney said. "This thing is broken beyond hope. I'm not sure what the Ancients were thinking. I think I'll have to redo it from the bottom up. I've thought about—"

"Rodney!" Sheppard interrupted him.

"Yes, yes, just let me...there."

Jennifer peeked into the room, seeing that Rodney stepped off the ladder and out of her line of sight towards Sheppard. She didn't dare move further because she didn't want to risk being seen.

She could hear them splitting up the food between them and start eating.

"How was this never noticed before?" Sheppard asked. "You said it caused energy fluctuations all over."

"Yes, and I never said it wasn't noticed before. I just didn't have the time before, saving our lives and all that," Rodney said defensively.

"When did you first notice it?" Sheppard asked.

There was no answer for a moment.

"Rodney?" Sheppard asked, stretching the syllables in a warning tone.

"Ten months ago," Rodney said quickly.

"Ten months!" Sheppard exploded.

"It wasn't dangerous!" Rodney shouted back.

"Well, it is now. All shields are down and we're sitting ducks if anyone gets wind of it," Sheppard said.

"There's no reason they should. And I'm on it now," Rodney said.

"I can't believe this. It's like the underwater jumper bay that you wanted to fix and didn't. For _two_ years," John said and Jennifer could practically _hear_ his glare.

"Oh, not that again," Rodney said dismayed. "Honestly, if I wanted another nagging girlfriend—"

Rodney stopped as if he'd seen Jennifer's gobsmacked expression. She was glad that she hadn't gasped out loud. This was...well, it wasn't as if they'd never butted heads over some of their behaviors that they found annoying. And it was _both_ of them. Still, hearing it in such terms—when her boyfriend talked to the very man who wanted to replace her—was like a slap in the face.

"Something wrong between Keller and you?" she heard Sheppard ask.

"We're fine," Rodney said, but even without seeing his expression she could hear that what he was really saying was, "I don't want to talk about it." That hurt because she'd felt that whatever little misgivings they had about each other were accepted as part of the whole package. She'd never seen it as something that might be a threat to their relationship.

"You haven't proposed to her yet," Sheppard pointed out.

"We haven't even been dating for a year," Rodney said in answer.

She wondered why Sheppard had even brought this up. She didn't feel as if Rodney's lack of proposal—or hers for that matter—was significant. Sure, it had crossed her mind before they returned to the Pegasus galaxy, but that had been mostly because she had her father and friends and family on Earth and they'd never have an easier time organizing a wedding than when they were back there. She'd certainly never thought that Rodney not asking her to marry him yet meant that he _never_ wanted to.

"I see," Sheppard said. "You wait a year and _then_ you'll be ready."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rodney asked, putting into words what Jennifer was thinking.

Sheppard didn't immediately answer. "You waited for a year with Katie Brown, and we know how that ended."

"Katie wasn't right," Rodney said.

"And yet you proposed to her," Sheppard said.

"I don't— Oh, I forgot I was talking to Atlantis' relationship expert. Why shouldn't I trust your vast expertise as a married man? Oh wait. You're divorced."

"She asked _me_ ," Sheppard said.

"Well, maybe you should have said no," Rodney said.

Jennifer could see him step onto the ladder again to continue working.

"Is that what you're doing? Waiting, then hoping she says no?" Sheppard asked.

Rodney spun around to him again. "What makes you think I wouldn't want her to say yes?" he demanded.

"If you want to marry her, what are you waiting for?" Sheppard asked. Jennifer moved a bit further back, when she saw him enter her field of vision. "What do you think will change once that magic year is up? What will make you ready by then if you aren't now?"

"What is your problem?" Rodney asked. "Do you want me to _not_ marry her? No, actually it's obvious that's what you want. The question is _why_?"

Jennifer swallowed. Would this be the point where Sheppard finally admitted his feelings to Rodney? She certainly had never expected him to be so aggressive about sabotaging their relationship. And she'd gotten the impression that they never talked about relationships. But then, maybe Rodney wouldn't tell her about that.

"I just don't want you to make another mistake," Sheppard said.

"Why are you so certain it would be a mistake?" Rodney asked.

"Why are you certain it isn't?" Sheppard shot back.

"I'm not," Rodney said.

Jennifer cringed. If someone asked her if she was certain she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Rodney, she wouldn't be able to say yes, either. But that didn't mean that she _didn't_ want it. Sheppard made it sound so black and white. She hoped that Rodney called him on that.

"So what do you think will change when a year is over? Or do you think a year is a good approximation for a lifetime? You aren't even living with her," Sheppard said.

"What...no, seriously, what is your problem with Jennifer? And don't tell me it's nothing. I know that the two of you have this weird...I don't even know what to call it. It's like this overly polite passive-aggressive way of speaking about each other. She does the same. Like 'So you're having a playdate with Sheppard, huh?' as if..."

Dammit. She'd thought she had this under control and never let her jealousy come through.

"As if what?" Sheppard asked.

"I don't know! As if the two of you would be at each other's throat if it weren't for me," Rodney said.

Sheppard snorted. "Actually, I think we'd get along fine if it weren't for you."

There was no answer. After a long moment of silence, Jennifer dared to move a bit, finding them staring at each other.

"You're fighting over who gets more time with me? Is that what you're saying?" Rodney asked.

Jennifer moved back again, rolling her eyes. God, Rodney could be so dense.

"You should get back to work. Time's ticking," Sheppard said.

"It's not. There's no immediate threat, and I really think we should discuss—"

"Well, I don't. I'll leave you to it," Sheppard said, his voice sounding already closer.

Jennifer turned around, but she was at the end of a long hall, so there was nowhere to hide. She swallowed and instead stepped out, facing Sheppard, who froze in his step, and Rodney, who was just going after him.

"Jennifer," Rodney said, surprised.

Her eyes were on Sheppard, though, who looked at her and in that moment they acknowledged what exactly was going on here and that they _both_ knew it.

"Doc," Sheppard said, giving her a small nod.

"Colonel," she answered, repeating the gesture.

"You're doing it again," Rodney said to Sheppard, then he turned to her. "Wait, did you listen, Jennifer?"

She swallowed, then nodded.

"Well, good!" Rodney said, coming to stand next to them and crossing his arms. "Maybe we can work this out like adults."

"Rodney, it's fine," Sheppard said. "We can work together, no problem."

"That's not what I meant and you know it," Rodney said.

"Rodney, he's not going to tell you," Jennifer said, looking at Sheppard. She wasn't going to betray Sheppard by revealing what she knew, but there was no point in dragging this on when they wouldn't get to the real issue anyway.

"Tell me what?!" Rodney shouted at both of them.

"I should get back. You won't need this," she said, lifting the sandwiches she'd brought, "and I'm getting hungry."

"I'll come with you," Sheppard said.

"No, no, no, you are not teaming up against me," Rodney said, grabbing both of their arms and turning them back.

Jennifer glanced at Sheppard. Obviously Rodney wouldn't just let them go, so they might as well talk about some of the issues raised. She wasn't going to reveal Sheppard's secret. If it ever was revealed it needed to come from him. Besides, if it did damage to their friendship, Jennifer wasn't sure Rodney would ever forgive her. But there were a few other things she had to say. "There's nothing wrong with not being certain that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. It's a huge decision and it shouldn't be made easily or based on some nebulous gut-feeling alone," she told Sheppard.

"Exactly," Rodney said, lifting his head as he looked at Sheppard. "I couldn't have said it better."

"You couldn't say it at all," Jennifer commented.

Sheppard seemed a bit surprised. "You're not bothered that Rodney isn't sure he wants to marry you?"

"No," she said. "I'm not sure either. And just like for Rodney, it doesn't mean that I _don't_ want to marry him. I've considered it. But there's no need for either of us to rush into this. While we're on Atlantis, it wouldn't change much anyway. Plus it would be difficult to organize a wedding from here."

"Well, then you're in complete agreement it seems. I'm sure you'll be _very happy_ ," Sheppard said, sending a wide fake smile her way and moving to leave.

Jennifer stopped him. She couldn't let this stand. "You think I _don't_ want him to be happy?" she asked.

Sheppard had the grace to drop his gaze.

"You think _you_ would make him happier?" she asked.

Sheppard's eyes shot to Rodney nervously, who frowned.

"I didn't—" she began, but really, if Rodney got it now, it was too late for an apology anyway. Though she wasn't sure Rodney would. "Maybe the two of us should discuss this alone, Colonel," she suggested to Sheppard.

"No, you shouldn't," Rodney disagreed.

"I don't think there's anything we need to discuss," Sheppard added, but he didn't meet her eyes.

"No, I'd really like to know. You think I'm not the right one for Rodney. You think you know better what he wants," she said. Or _whom_ he wants, though she managed not to say that out loud. "You think he'll find someone better suited to him someday." She looked at Sheppard, challenging him to say yes, to make that claim.

Sheppard swallowed and looked at her. "No," he eventually answered flatly, dropping gaze again.

In that moment, she did feel pity. He looked defeated, hopeless. "You don't think it's possible? You don't think it's worth _trying_ at least?" She knew that she was basically asking her rival for the love of her boyfriend to fight for him, but a part of her needed this to be out in the open so that it could finally be addressed. Not just for her, but for Sheppard as well. She didn't think he had any idea that he had a chance with Rodney. And Jennifer didn't flatter herself into thinking he didn't. That was the whole reason for her insecurities. She knew that if Rodney found out, there was a good chance that he'd leave her.

Sheppard shot her a hard look. "No, it's not," he said.

"Why not?" she asked.

"What the hell are you two talking about? Because I don't think it's what it sounds like," Rodney said. "If you don't think I could find someone better, why do you insist I don't marry Jennifer?" he asked Sheppard.

Sheppard turned to him. "No, you're right. You should take your time. Marry when you feel ready for it. You'll be happy, I'm sure." The smile that he gave Rodney wasn't fake, but it was bittersweet. He turned to Jennifer. "I really hope you're all that he wants," he said.

"John," she said. "You need to—"

"No," Sheppard said, shaking his head. "Don't make this more complicated than it needs to be."

"Don't make this more clear-cut than it is," she countered.

"And I still don't know what the hell you're talking about," Rodney complained.

A smile tugged on Sheppard's face as he looked at Jennifer. Then he walked past her.

"Sheppard, wait," Rodney said.

"Rodney," Jennifer stopped him. "Let me talk to him." She followed Sheppard out into the hall. "You should tell him," she said quietly enough for Rodney not to hear.

"There's nothing he needs to know," Sheppard said.

"That's not true. He _should_ know this. He _should_ have the choice," Jennifer said.

"He already made his choice," Sheppard said.

"You can't choose if you only have one option—or think you do," she pointed out.

"I am not an option for him. Don't you think he's made that perfectly clear?" Sheppard asked.

"You know as well as I that he can be completely clueless about things like these," Jennifer said.

"Like wanting guys?" Sheppard asked.

"Like wanting _you_ ," Jennifer said. "You wouldn't be the first guy he's had sex with."

That shut Sheppard up.

"You didn't know that," she said.

"I didn't but it still doesn't mean— Actually, if he _does_ know that he's into guys and _still_ doesn't see that I..." Sheppard faltered.

He couldn't even say it to her. Jennifer had to wonder if he had ever managed to articulate it in the privacy of his own mind.

"That you what?" Rodney asked.

Sheppard blanched, looking at the end of the hall where Rodney stood. There was no way out of it now. He had to see that.

Rodney for his part looked composed but vulnerable. If he'd heard even just the last sentence he had to know what Sheppard meant. But maybe he needed to hear it as much as Sheppard needed to say it.

Sheppard dropped his gaze, but he wasn't trying to run again. She wished she could help him, but there was nothing she could do. That wasn't entirely true. She could at least give him privacy.

"I'll leave you two alone." She walked away without waiting for a response. She didn't look back and took the same path she'd come from.

She didn't know what the result of their discussion would be. But she felt a strange relief that they would have it. She could be losing Rodney as a consequence, and still having this laid out in the open seemed more important than that.

Jennifer had to wonder about that. Maybe it was time that _she_ reconsidered why she hadn't been ready to ask Rodney to marry her.

~~

**Rodney**

 

"That you what?" Rodney repeated eventually when Jennifer was long gone. Not that he had any hope that John would finally say what he really meant. But that was what he had to deal with. Not just now but if they ever would...

Rodney wasn't as clueless as they thought. Well, maybe he was, but not because he hadn't on some level known how John felt. No, he simply had thought that whatever it was that kept John from acting on it was so insurmountable that his feelings might as well not exist.

But then John _had_ spoken up. And maybe he'd said the truth when he'd claimed he only did it to keep Rodney from making a mistake. Maybe marrying Jennifer _would_ be a mistake even if being with John wasn't an option.

Rodney didn't know. And right now he didn't care because apparently what had kept John from ever speaking up wasn't the rules of the military or society or his own personal issues with relationships or his sexual orientation or whatever else he probably hid from even himself. No, it seemed that John had remained silent because he'd believed, had been _certain_ that Rodney was unattainable.

Which was a ridiculous thought, because Rodney had been right here, very much attainable from the very beginning. If Sheppard had so much as hinted that he was open to it, Rodney would have taken him to bed or closet or whatever else they would have negotiated as early as Antarctica.

It was unfathomable to him how John could have missed that. Rodney was suddenly angry about how much of an idiot Sheppard had been. And even now when there was no doubt left, he still couldn't open his damn mouth.

Rodney had enough. He took the few steps towards John and pulled him into an almost violent kiss just to finally get a reaction and admission.

John froze for a moment, then kissed him back just as hard.

Rodney pulled back. "I can't believe you," he said.

"I didn't know," John said.

"You didn't even try!" Rodney shouted at him.

"You didn't either!" John shouted back.

They stared at each other for a moment, then it was John who pulled Rodney into another kiss. This kiss was less punishing and more passionate, but Rodney couldn't just let himself get lost in it. He pulled back again.

John looked questioning, then his expression completely closed off and he took a step back, dropping his gaze.

"What now?" Rodney asked.

"It's too late, isn't it?" John said, forcing himself to look at Rodney.

"What— Are you a masochist or something?" Rodney asked. "Is this how it's always going to be? You give up before there's even a chance that things could go wrong?"

"Always?" John asked.

"Is there any chance at all that this relationship could work? Forget Jennifer, which by the way I really shouldn't because she didn't deserve to be caught in the crossfire of your," Rodney hesitated for a moment and than allowed, " _our_ stupidity. But leaving her aside, what happens if another woman comes on to me? Will you run crying to your room because evidently the slightest hint at all that you're not the only person in the world for me sends you into a mood of doom and gloom?"

John raised one eyebrow, then got a stubborn look. "You _proposed_ to Katie Brown."

"Well, yes," Rodney said. "After we'd dated for over a year. Because you made me believe that you were so deeply closeted that not even the Ancients could pry you out."

"I don't think helping couples in need was on their agenda," John said.

"And we weren't a couple. And we're still not. And we won't ever be if you can't even answer a simple question," Rodney said.

"It isn't up to me now anyway," John said, his eyes anywhere but on Rodney.

"God, it's like I'm talking to a wall," Rodney said, frustration getting the better of him. "What. Do. You. Want? You don't even have to talk about feelings. Just say, 'Rodney, I want to be the one fucking you.'"

John looked at him. He parted his lips. "I want to be the one you fuck."

The smart-ass comment died on Rodney's lips as John's words shot to his dick. He couldn't... He suddenly remembered Jennifer and that he was still her boyfriend. If they had any hope at all, John's words had no right to have such an effect on him.

"You will be," Rodney said. There was nothing that would keep him from trying this with John even if it would drive him crazy. His only hope was that he could fuck some sense into him.

John looked at him with naked hope in his eyes. Rodney was entirely helpless against that and kissed him again.

Who knew? Maybe this could actually work.

~~

**John**

 

John walked up and down in front of the infirmary until he took a deep breath and entered. He looked around, almost hoping that Keller wouldn't be there, but he found her perusing some files at her desk.

When she saw him, she didn't say anything. When he didn't speak, she went back to her files.

John didn't know how to say what he'd come for to say. He wanted to say that he was sorry she'd been caught in the middle of this even though she was the only innocent party in this mess they'd gotten themselves into. And he wanted to thank her for not letting them get away with their stupidity and forcing him—and Rodney—to face each other when she had nothing to gain from it. Except certainty.

Rodney had told him that she'd seemed calm when he'd broken up with her. But John wasn't entirely sure if that was wishful thinking more than actual perception.

"Is something wrong?" she finally asked, not looking up.

"No. Everything's okay," he said. "Everything's _great_ ," he added. Maybe that was what she needed to know. That her loss hadn't been in vain. Though he didn't want her to think he was rubbing it in. "Thanks to you," he added quickly.

She looked up. "You don't need to thank me. You could apologize, though."

"I'm sorry," he said.

She looked at him for a long moment. "Actually, it doesn't make me feel better."

There was nothing he could say to that.

"But luckily I wasn't feeling too bad about it to begin with," she added.

John frowned. He wasn't sure if it was bravado or if she honestly didn't care. It was hard to believe the latter. She'd thought about marrying Rodney after all.

"I don't regret my time with Rodney. It was a good experience overall. I can't say that being alone would have been preferable. And it ended before it got...difficult. For either of us. I know that Rodney probably has regrets. He always gets overly—" She stopped herself and smiled. "But that's your problem now."

"I'll take it," John said.

She nodded. "Can I ask you something?"

John braced himself and gave a slight nod.

"Do you want to marry Rodney? Spend the rest of your life with him?" Jennifer asked.

"If he'll have me," John said, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"No doubt, no hesitation, no matter that you've only been together for a week and haven't even lived together?" she asked.

John vaguely recalled that he'd mentioned that in his argument with Rodney. "I know most if not all of his annoying habits by now. I know what I'm getting into and it's worth it. For me."

Jennifer nodded, a knowing smile on her lips. "So when's the wedding going to be?"

"Well, there's fraternization rules, and..." Other things like the fact that he was still in the process of patching things up with his brother.

"Sounds like an excuse to me," she commented, smirking.

He had to grin. "I'll wait for Rodney to ask," he said.

Jennifer laughed.

John smiled. It looked like even with Rodney in the picture they could get along fine. And all it took was for them to finally find the place they belonged in.


End file.
